thoughts 1

1 - get to "industrial level" quick

 i've played minecraft for a long time. i still rememberred the first day i played it with a serious attitude back during high school, when i spent 10 straight hours on a saturday to build a stupid dirt house that has a platform about 10 blocks high and railway systems around it. i knew the minecraft wiki back then but all i cared about was mining another set of blocks and slap them on top of my already sprawling buildings.

in the next couple of weeks i started looking at other people's builds, cities, youtube videos, etc. i downloaded worlds and walked around in them. but none of them felt like my own so i abandoned that idea quickly. i went on servers as well but even back then minecraft servers (or at least the ones i could get on) were already pretty advanced.

over the years i would repeat this process and get better at survival but the farthest achievement in surivial i got is a nether portal and a enchantment table. i do know that there are world downloads, discord channels, mods (i played with a couple as well), etc. but i never bothered doing any of those. 

is this because of my poor computer skill? that's far from the truth. i've been programming since like forever ago and java was the first language i picked up, at least in a serious manner. (over the years i leaned to python and cpp but that's a different story) is this because of a lack of passion in the game? partly. i'm not a huge gamer and i mostly like reading novels, blogs and such more than playing games. i'd admit it i'm a shitty gamer in general, not a "talented esports kid" that would go on binging DOTA for weeks and dream of playing for cash. (if one day supercomputers got out i'd be happy to reproduce openai's dota bot...)

but in all odds i should be doing redstones, at least scraping others' redstones sooner than i am, which is today, after i've debugged many neural networks. 

why?

well, after a bit of thought, here's what i found:

1. i'm very stupid in a way. i'm smart, don't get me wrong. i took a lot of theoretical math course in college so i'm really not that stupid. but my stupidity lies in my great reluctance in exploring new things that i might fail at. minecraft the game itself, although slow, is quite approachable. the learning curve is really gentle: you mine the block, then the next. if your enchantment table does not work at the moment, if you get slained too many times in the nether, you can always go back to your housing projects and/or your (poor manual) farms.

2. that's pretty much the whole reason. i'm stupid, reluctant to failure. 

i might rewrite this in a couple of days if i got time. but this procrastination not just happened to me with minecraft, it happened to me with many things: my first android app, my first (nonexistent) ios app, my first webpage, my first webservice host, my first game jam, my first hackathon, my first blog, etc, etc.

i just hope i dont fall into this trend again, at least not by such a long time. anyways i'd prbobaly add more material to this post.